Setting boundaries is still a significant aspect in making sure that you have a holistic lifestyle while living with loved ones in a tiny space such as in a condo. There are practical ways that you can do to ensure that privacy remains intact in the household.
Life without Boundaries
if you are living in a household that practices conservative values, then setting boundaries might be like finding a needle in a haystack. First, a conservative household embodies strong family ties so everything is literally in a ‘sharing is caring’ concept – to the extent that one’s privacy is compromised. Second, instilling your own privacy might offend someone older than you such as your parents. In a conservative household, you may literally hear the words “I birthed you so you should not hide anything from me” or “I am your parent and you are just my child.” Well, it may sound toxic, but let us give the benefit of the doubt that all these are meant that they care for our well-being. Nonetheless, it still feels odd knowing that someone is trespassing your own private space at home.
An example of privacy trespassing is having your parents barged in your bedroom without them knocking. Each one of us may be different in terms of responding, but deep down, it cannot be denied that there is a hint of annoyance in this case. This kind of situation is usually seen in big spaces such as in a townhouse or house and lot. However, what happens when this privacy dilemma occurs in a condo or apartment?
This is the why. privacy is really important in any types of relationship. In order to practice respecting privacy, you need to learn how to set boundaries in a way that are accepted by the whole family.
The Significance of Privacy
Having your own privacy allows you to do things on your own without the worry of someone’s watching in your every move. Moreover, it gives you a sense of security and comfort.
There is a famous adage that goes “we wear different masks on various circumstances.” Definitely, this is true as we front different personalities depending on who we are with and where we are at. In this regard, being in your own little world is just plainly allowing yourself to be who you are for yourself. It unravels the masks that the world has been forcing you to put on. Hence, privacy is a safe place to regain your sanity and identity.
Imagine your life without privacy. It might feel like that you are a specimen under a microscope for people’s constant criticism in your every action. Worse, it might feel like you are in a cage of other’s perceptions and judgment.
For this reason, setting boundaries in order to remain privacy intact is significant.
Types of Boundaries
1. Physical Boundaries
This is in reference to your own space, privacy, and body. You could be someone who enjoys public shows of love (such as hugs, kisses, and hand-holding), or you might prefer not to be touched in public.
2. Sexual Boundaries
These are your desires in terms of closeness. Sexual comments and touches may make you feel uneasy.
3. Intellectual Boundaries
These restrictions apply to your thoughts and views. When someone ignores another person’s thoughts and beliefs, intellectual boundaries are crossed.
4. Emotional Boundaries
This is a term that describes a person’s emotions. You might not feel comfortable telling a friend or lover what you’re thinking. Instead, you’d rather share little by little over time.
5. Financial Boundaries
This one is all about money, as you could have guessed. You might not want to lend money to a buddy who likes to spend it on fashionable clothing if you want to preserve money rather than spend it.
4 Ways to Set the Boundaries in a Tiny Space
The Invisible Line
Whether you are living in a studio type unit or 2-bedroom unit, one effective way to setting boundaries is establishing an invisible line. This can be done through proxemics or distancing.
If you are living with your parents, then you need to directly tell them your preferred ‘nearness.’ Likewise, you ask your parents the measurement of their invisible line. This invisible line is like creating an imaginary barricade between your own space to other people. In this way, it allows you to move freely without apprehension.
Not only is this applicable to distances, but it can also be established in terms of emotional boundaries. You need to recognize at what point will you be needing help whenever you are having problems. Subsequently, you let your loved ones know when their opinions are asked for.
Know the Schedule
Knowing each other schedule allows everyone in the family to know when to interrupt or not, especially if you are working or studying. Moreover, it gives a value of being sensitive to the space and time needed by the other person.
At the end of the day, you will learn the value of each other’s privacy once you become aware of each other’s schedule. Likewise, this will promote quality time with one another since you will know when you will be available, for instance, for a move night together.
The Habit of Consent
One way of setting boundaries is to practice the habit of consent. There are instances that caring for your family meant distancing yourself for a while. In this way, you need to ask the other person what do you want him or her to be your response in his or her situation. Were you needed to give an advice or the other person just needs someone to cry on and listen to him or her?
Remember, do not create responses that you are not called for. You need to wait for the other person’s consent.
Accept Rejections
Finally, you need to respect the other person’s rejection. When a family member says ‘no’, then you need to give him or her the ‘no’ that he or she needs. However, if you feel like he or she needs help, then you can ask gently for confirmation if what she really wants is a ‘no’ or a ‘yes.’
Spaces Above 